Shared Inspiring Read: Seek Discomfort

The quote made by Tim Ferriss in significant volumes. I thought I could change those around me, and adhere to consistency or complacency. That’s not me at all, and I need to change ASAP. The biggest change I made so far was going back to college. The next largest change is relocation. All my life I’ve been a Texan, and never journey beyond state lines unless it was for a field trip. Now, I think I truly need to do this not for my kids or spouse, but for myself. Thank you for liking my post and guiding me to this vibrant one.

I made a mistake and fell victim to the repetitive lifestyle, but now I’m happier to be myself and beautiful in my own way.

Wandering Ambivert

Many people have told me that the quote β€œSeek Discomfortβ€œ, doesn’t make any sense. Why would you want to do that?

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Dear Journal: All the Wrong Places

He has what I would like to have, and (apparently) I have what he wants. So why do I have to keep going above and beyond, underappreciated, and told otherwise but he has an excuse why I’m constantly shortchanged?

Enough is enough, bro…

For over two years, I have changed into the kind of person most men would like to have in their lives. Even when I had running transportation, I would kindly allow him to drive it so he can take care of whatever he needs or go have fun while I stay locked at home raising children. Most of the times I do not engage with anyone over the internet like I used to because I would rather respect him than be told I’m not doing enough for him.

So, Mr. Man, what do I get in return? I popped my pussy for you and gave you children. I let you in my life first, took you in first, pushed you for open communication FISRT, only to not get what YOU know I deserve. In general, am I getting open communication and emotional and mental intimacy, or should I take my love elsewhere?

Ever since we met, I knew I was a wild card. Nobody was in my corner regarding comfort and motivation. The only one that gave me what I needed in that department was my ex, Mikey (filler name). Mikey and I were two peas in a pod, doing deliveries and pushing towards strong financial goals. However, he missed his ex girl too much for me. Plus, he was still in love with her, no matter how many times I did the best I could to ride at his side and held him close when he started hurting the most.

Now, claiming I’m married, though I’m technically not, to someone else, I feel empty. Where’s that emotional and mental intimacy and comfort? Who are you to tell me what I need to do for you but you have yet given me what I need the most? At some point I need to revoke my heart and make you earn it all over again, if I am the one you want and need in your life.

Revoking your heart from someone is cruel, Hari. Have you considered therapy?

Yes, I have, but only for myself. I deserve happiness and a stronger support system. I deserve someone that’s willing to call or text me at random, hang on the phone with me for a little while, just actively talking and engaging with me when I open up. People who listens to me are not helping me. I have dealt with this for years already, and the close I’ve gotten to helpful assistance is a hotline for those that actively listens to the caller. Other than that, I don’t reach out to anyone anymore. *spoiled brat mode: I don’t want some bloke to listen to me, I want active listening and engaging conversations! I want happiness in the bottle and not feel fucking guilt if I choose to drink in moderation because I deserve it! I raise four kids alone, what makes you think you deserve getting understanding from me? Nobody communicates effectively, and I’m tired of missing out! Either give me better or go away and let me be a single mom of four!*

I’m hurting, badly and quietly…

*sitting alone in my room*

Everyone’s lying to me at this point. Using chat rooms at weird time in the morning just to find a placeholder for my happiness isn’t working. Unfortunately, money isn’t in the budget for a therapist and get the help I deserve (even if I have to go behind his back to get it; I mean, he went behind my back anyway and had a female working with him in a music video, pretending to look like a couple and currently working with a female vocalist… Yeah, nevermind, I’ll make myself happy).

*crying alone*

You guys, what’s wrong with me? I just want someone to tell me I’m worth it, they’ll go crazy if I had another man with me. I’m tired of being lied to, not getting what I’ve been asking for. Why is it that I am more committed and active in the relationship, but I get nothing but physical items or temporary affection? Other women would go crazy over flowers and stuff, but not me– not anymore.

I need comfort and cushion when I fall. The purrfect man isn’t someone that sits quietly over the phone, knowing I’m not comfortable with us anymore. Instead, he moves things around to better appreciate and love me. Even if he’s feeling crappy, I deserve attention and engaging relationship moments, not be told “when I call, you better pick up” followed with “I was chilled when I sent the message, it’s your perception of my message to you that started this disagreement”. My perception is flawless regarding communication and getting someone’s attention! IT’S BASIC COMMON COURTESY WHEN USING NONVERBAL METHODS TO COMMUNICATE, YOU HAVE TO USE SPECIFIC WORDS TO AVOID A LOT OF MISCOMMUNICATION!!! PAY ATTENTION WHAT YOU SAY AND MAYBE GIVE A FUCK HOW PEOPLE JUMP DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!

I’m tired of screaming “communication, communication, communication” and I get told, “I let people perceive me (speaking about oneself) the way they interpret my messages”. But if someone calls you a bitch, you react. What if they’re used to being around certain groups of people and that’s their way of establishing a comfortable relationship with you? Naturally, you’ll tell them to never call you that again, especially if you don’t empathize where they’re coming from. That also goes with communication.

I learned through listening to your aches and pains that how you communicate with others will dictate the vibe they have with you and how they respond to your ignorance (if it’s present). My misunderstandings is intentional because you don’t read what’s in front of you regarding communication and emotional development or intimacy. I am more than understanding, but if you fail to give me what I need from you as a man, then I encourage you to be a jerk like in your earlier songs and find another bitch that’ll take care of you (and hopefully not cheat on you like your ex).

Talk, talk, talk…

I realized no matter what, I won’t find anyone that will match my energy. The only place I can hide is here on my blog. Nobody knows what I look like, let alone talk to me as much. This is the only place I can hide and be myself, and hopefully don’t grow popular like crazy.

At the end of the day, communication and transparency is important. I watch more than I listen because I don’t trust people when they open up to me. I zero in on body responses and how the person uses his/her intellect to control and allow being controlled by others when they socially or privately engage with them. Yes, I am more attracted towards men with strong intellect and wanting to build their woman on an emotional level, helping her become one with who she’s destined to be and not feel controlled or deprived of attention.

Maybe this is a sign I need to step back from everyone, and remain invisible. I start work soon, so I’ll use this opportunity to do what I need to do. I know I need to buy two cars and secure a job in Oklahoma City. If I have to do whatever it takes to be happy, then so be it. I understand he doesn’t want me to make these kind of moves alone, but I am not waiting around anymore for happiness. I will be kind and give him a car, and stay on top of our payments, but that’s it. I’m done pushing for us. Until I get what I deserve, he’s better off taking me to court to fight for custody with his two biological children than claim he loves all four of them. I’m still loyal, but the idea of being married died when he failed to be there for me when I need him most (emotionally).

Good luck, my fucked up journal…

The Rittenhouse Case (2021 Verdict)

None of us know the entire story unless we were there at the crime scene. However, this is my opinion as an outsider, not a political figure. This kid, Rittenhouse, did what he had to do to protect himself. Unfortunately, the consequences were ugly since someone was shot execution style, but view it from a non-racial perspective (on my end I’m hearing race comments than what else physically happened)…

What the hell are you going to do if your ass is getting jumped and you don’t have your people to help you relocate to a safer area?

It could’ve been prevented…

Rittenhouse seems like someone who knows most of his shit, and come by his faults with reasonable transparency. He’s still a kid, figuring out what’s what and how to serve his community in any logical way possible. So, my concern is, why is this a racial issue if it didn’t present itself as premeditation of hate and bigotry? Is certain levels of logic not good enough to support specific reasonings in the American justice system?

I do not agree with how Rittenhouse handled the situation. He is in his late teens, and most young men are not fully matured until the age of 25 and older. Being who he is, he should’ve done what he was told then went home. Pretending to be law enforcement or a public service figure isn’t a game at all. If anything, I assumed the kid would have several restrictions or sentenced to jail for one to five years.

I don’t want to dive too deep into the case at hand because I only know so much and I wasn’t there. Although, the judge should’ve kept an open mind and updated himself on multiple trends (physical and digital).

I am a fighter, not a marcher.

When was the last time a peaceful march made a difference in today’s society? Personally, there’s not much that made a legitimate difference. If it did, why are we keeping #BLM (Black Lives Matter) alive? Why are we [blacks] singing spirituals or heartfelt poetry or elaborate imagery, and still lose the fight?

What is the fight? Easy, the right to retaliate by any means necessary. Take what is ours and respect those around us (neighboring communities that has their shit in order). In other words, blacks deserve the humanitarian rights to live a human life than of target practice. PLUS, we deserve non-intervention from bystanders and onlookers as the real activists fight for our own people with our own people.

Still confused?

In American history, we have documentation of the KKK to band together, do whatever they want to do in the name of their cause, and publicly make their presence known.


Piecing together the Black Panthers, man, the public and media presumed they were a malicious hate group that’s radical and unreasonable. Oh… And black πŸ‘‹πŸΎπŸ‘‹πŸΎπŸ‘‹πŸΎ But the crazy shit about Black Panthers is their contrasting ideologies compared to some of the NAACP nonviolent marches and protests.

So I guess marching around chanting shit saves more lives than stop such an embedded stigma of justice in an unjust country.

I hope this brought you guys into my world and little more, and showing how I think. Please be safe, #GangGang #Squad. Goodnight and I will talk to you soon

We’re Live… Again!

Good morning everyone! I hope you slept okay.

I finally had a lovely date with babe last night. We weren’t in person, but we livestreamed Mobile Legends: Bang Bang on our streaming platforms. Nice *happily purrs*. Also, we talked yesterday about power moves, so once he’s in my kitty arms, we will knock out the entire world with an iron claw!

Rediscovering My Characters

This morning I played several matches with a few players on my followers’ list. Usually, I push hard with Belerick as tank. However, I’m a little rusty with Miya and Nana (not to mention scared to touch Layla). I need to revamp my characters a little, especially since I perfected one, came close with the other, and trashed my entire streaming career with the last.

On my Meow.Sause profile, I’m currently holding the top 5 slots (I’m no. 2 in local, no. 55 in Texas) with Belerick. As for Nana, I’m holding the high 80’s until I win several more ranked matches. Miya and Layla, I’m pretty trash unless I’m stressed or pissed.

*Annette Darcy and Junior come in screaming while I try to write*

Ah, yes, our beloved toddlers arose from the grave and penetrated my somewhat secret hiding spot to type. Good morning Annette and Junior. Please, do mommy kitty a favor and sit yo ash trays down while I wrap up my writing session. I love you and promise many healthy snacks and meals in the next hour or less.

Anyway, I’m working on saving up for Hanabi and Grock. I think with both of them I’ll be able to dominate the playing field (or come pretty close to it). Also, can anyone tell me what’s KDA? Apparently, I got 16 in one match about an hour ago, but I really don’t know what it means. Is that towards assists or kills? Yes, I’m too lazy to go online and research it, so I’m asking y’all to help me translate it.

Studying the Psychology Behind Ads (Traditional and Digital)

Question: If you were to purchase anything from me, how would I grab your attention and encourage you to purchase from me? I’m not the most savvy with networking and running a business, however there are several traits I posses. Over the last couple months, I noticed a vast change with my writing and the audience I cater to. At one point, I started out The KKL as a place to encourage MLM and freelance blogging. Now, I revamped it a lot where it’s almost a melting pot for whomever strolls by and find what they’re looking for.

Yesterday, I studied the psychology behind advertising and why people make time for what they like. I mean, on the surface, we already know that people buy and do whatever they feel is necessary for them at that moment. However, what else is there that encourages a person to spend their money (consciously and subconsciously)? For example, today wasn’t the day for me to purchase my WordPress package, but I did it anyway. What motivated me to purchase a simple package for one month was the commenter on my last blog post. I don’t know why I did it, but I did it anyway.

Quietly, I’m asking myself several questions that pushed me to purchase the digital product. Like:

Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on

  1. What are the top three things I look for in an ad or product?
  2. Why are these services important to me?
  3. Were there any colors or phrases that prompted me for the purchase and subscription?
  4. Considering my age, gender, economic background, and dependents, can I afford these goods/services longer than three months?
  5. Was this purchase considered costly in the long run? If so, why? If not, why?

Once I asked myself these questions, I journal them in my composition book and let those thoughts simmer until I am ready to practice similar producer strategies. Maybe I’ll understand why we do things a certain way, especially as technology advances. By the way, have you heard of the iPhone 14 coming out? What kind of shit is that?!

Growing Up and Moving Forward

This morning AhnLee, our baby, held her bottle for the first 30 seconds in her feeding session before kicking me. Seeing her grow up the way she is shows me that I can’t rest until everything I crave becomes mine. Last night, I tried my best to explain to my husband the lingering stigma my family carries. Most of the women on my mom’s side hustle like no tomorrow. However, the way we hustle does not include any input from the male species (unless it’s financial or physical help, like opening up the cookie jar or something).

I know he didn’t understand completely what I meant, so I will do my best to explain how I feel here.

Marriage is an all-time low in my family. Most of the women on my mom and dad’s side are NOT married, but maintain a civil partnership with the birth parent. When I see my husband, I always fear that some decisions I make may not benefit him the way it should. For example, looking for a place to live is a team effort. However, I feel a little controlling since I’m picking the city, type of housing, and how much we should pay per month to reside there. In another light, I understand he’s allowing me some freedom to make these decisions because wherever I go, he goes (and vice versa).

I guess I’m overthinking my problems, but this will stay on my mind when we are practicing unity instead of going against each other like young couples. Still, I’m excited that we’re finally moving and getting our dream services! Next month will be a chilling adventure, but anything for my hubby will forever be okay with me (except eating my catfish nuggets or fancy spicy ramen; you just don’t touch a cat girl’s Asian food).

I vision our kids to have their own space, toys, blankets, beds and comfortable chairs, and customized clothes every season the year has to offer. My husband deserves peace and space to stream, grow his plants and spoil his kitty (me) with love and affection. Talking and writing about it pushes more passion from me than anything else. I guess you can say that I’m super excited with this life-changing adventure! Before I became a mom, I loved adventures but hated sharing them with people. Now, I want to spoil and shower him with love every day!

Well, for now I must go back and resume my daily life as a mom. The last thing I can think of before going away until tomorrow is to remain happy and positive. It’s easy to grow depressed and stressed about the situation you’re in. Trust me, I’m going three months taking no antidepressants, and there are days I want to wallow over and cry. However, I find little things that help me push through it, or actually do my ugly cry until I can’t cry anymore. Random Mini Disclaimer: Also, since I am now live again AND I stream certain games and art apps Tuesday – Saturday, please feel free to follow and join me live on Twitch or Omlet Arcade @thekittykatlife7619. Once I’m more settled and we have certain tinks and items to enhance streaming, I’ll begin doing commissioned art for those wanting to turn themselves into lovely abstract beings or create up to 30 second visuals for your stream/social media channel.